Life with a baby: my therapy

I feel like I’ve had a tough few weeks: we’ve all been ill, I’ve been more emotional than usual, and we’re all a little sleep deprived.

I’m writing this entry as a kind of therapy. On my journey of motherhood so far, two things have struck me: it’s a lot harder than I thought it’d be (but, as my mum often asks me, “who told you it’d be easy?!”) and all other mothers seem to cope better than me. I love looking after Amelia and I can’t remember what my life was like without her, but the past five months have been very emotional! I can’t pinpoint what it is that upsets me some days, but I’ve now learned that it’s okay to cry sometimes.

New mothers don’t talk about their feelings enough. It hasn’t been until recently when I’ve told a few friends how hard I’ve been finding motherhood, that I’ve realised they felt the same when their little ones were Amelia’s age! When I look at all my friends who have had babies, or other mothers at my baby groups, they always look so calm and happy and well kept. I’m very happy – blissfully, of course – but I keep thinking to myself I’m sure no one else finds it this hard if they’ve got time to do their hair and make up. They do though! I (and I’m sure most other new mothers) imagined that as soon as Amelia was in my arms, every day would be perfect and no matter how much she cried, I’d cope. I absolutely love her unconditionally, but some days I certainly don’t feel like I can cope brilliantly, as I expected I would! I’ve always wanted to be a mother – for as long as I can remember – but that hasn’t made it any easier.

I thank God every day for dear little Amelia, as Mark and I have been incredibly blessed, and know that for every few bad days there always comes one truly wonderful day. However, I've learned that it is okay to admit that motherhood is difficult; no one will judge you, because it’s definitely the hardest job in the world! The hardest job in the world is certainly the best job in the world though...

I've tried to include as many of Amelia's different facial expressions as possible!